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okay. a long long time ago, i was mortified and saddened when i realised that Judas had betrayed Jesus for thirty silver pieces. i wondered if i would have done so too, or at what price, or if my sins made me a Judas as well (they do, don't they?). or at least, i have as much responsibility for Christ's betrayal and death as Judas did.
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the next thing i wondered was, why did Judas not get a pardon when everyone else did? that doesn't sound very fair, but hey, grace is given by God. so okay, the old testament speaks about Christ's betrayer, so God says Judas is condemned, then Christ himself says that his betrayer is condemned, hmm, that's kinda tough. and then in that same chapter of Mark, chapter 26, Jesus says that Peter will disown him, which is surely in the same spirit as Judas' betrayal, yet Peter is pardoned, and Jesus himself goes to reinstate him in John 21. so why one and not the other? so there are two unpardonable sins for a Christian, which are: blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, and the actual betrayal of the Christ.
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and then, a few months ago, i was wondering about this again. if Judas, who had been a disciple of Christ, heard his words, listened to the private explanation of his parables, seen his miracles, seen the crowds gather to Jesus, had himself been sent out to preach the kingdom of God, had performed healings and driven out demons, had grown in fellowship with the first disciples of Christ, and had lived this life of discipleship, and had lived for the kingdom of God and his chosen Son for so long that he knew everything about Christ, and had surely been groomed as the other disciples to be church builders and evangelists and missionaries, etc., full of the Spirit, accustomed to hardship and persecution for the joy of the kingdom... what else did i miss... if Judas, even Judas, had failed, had turned away from it all, then who can blame him? if in his heart he remained hardened in spite of all of Christ's glory and grace on display before him, then... then what? if our hearts had seen all these things and were not moved, could you or i have stood in his place and resisted the Pharisees, the teachers of the law, the chief priests, or the devil, when they tempted him to betray Jesus?
what if Judas had seen all this and hated Christianity as a result? what if he simply wanted nothing more to do with this epic struggle between good and evil? what if he felt this way, "God, why me? i don't wanna do all these things. i want to live a quiet life. let me go! give me back my life and my freedom. i'm tired. i'm hungry. i'm old. i've lost my dreams, and my self. let me go, please."
the next thing i thought was, did Jesus make any moves to correct his one errant disciple? hmm. perhaps his hands were 'tied', but i don't think Jesus would have purposely gave up on Judas. if for example, you had one student who was failing, you'd at least try to talk to him to see if he cared about his grades, ask about his family situation, and so on. even if God told you that your student was doomed to fail, you'd certainly try, at least to give him any chance. Jesus must have been sad to let Judas go. i believe that.
so if Jesus couldn't bring Judas to love him, then maybe the other disciples could sense that Judas wasn't in on the program. they might have tried to talk to him. i think it would be fairly obvious in their 'hyper-disciple' state to notice someone who wasn't talking or walking the talk and walk, respectively. did they fail in their fellowship? were they leaving out someone in their group who was spiritually down? did we at present have a situation like that ourselves?
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lately, what i was thinking about Judas, was that Judas made a miscalculation. he took a gamble, and lost. for up to that point, in every encounter that Jesus had had with the authorities, the teachers of the law, the pharisees and the chief priests, Jesus had been able to defend himself with wisdom that no one could refute. Jesus had spoken courageously against the pharisees and the teachers of the law, and had even scathingly criticised them, yet they could neither fault him in return, nor absolve themselves of his accusations. up to that point, everybody knew that Jesus burned with righteous anger against the Jewish and Roman authorities. so if Jesus was the Messiah, then what harm could possibly befall Jesus even if he were to be arrested and charged by these authorities? would not Jesus, as he always did, stand up and defend himself, with words and wisdom from the Spirit that none could refute? would Jesus not tear down the very legitimacy and mandate and power that these authorities had? would God not send his angels to set Jesus free? would Jesus surrender to wicked, scheming men? would God leave his only Son helpless?
if we didn't know better, we'd probably have said, okay, sure, Jesus versus the authorities, bang bang bang, we win. so i (Judas) will go and take these people's money (haha) and set them up to get owned by my rabbi, Jesus. a brilliant plan, a real double cross.
this could be plausible because in Matthew 27:1-4, Judas realises that Jesus does not reply to the accusations levelled at him, or attempt to save himself.
'Early in the morning, all the chief priests and the elders of the people came to the decision to put Jesus to death. They bound him, led him away and handed him over to Pilate, the governor. When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty silver coins to the chief priests and the elders. "I have sinned," he said, "for I have betrayed innocent blood."'
his shocking realisation here is that Jesus had already warned him that all this would happen. Judas realises here that he is the one who would betray Jesus, even if it was a mistake.
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so as i was trying to organise my thoughts, i drew a sort of mind map, because there were a lot of angles to cover.
it started with this line: Judas -> chose to betray Christ -> became guilty, hanged himself
and i simply tacked the rest on.
the top half is the reasons why he may have done so, the bottom left side is the mentality he did it with, and the bottom right side is why he hanged himself. i think that this is important, because if Judas had felt that he was right to betray Christ, then he would not have hanged himself. unless, for instance, he witnessed Jesus' sufferings and felt guilty as a result, or something like that.
i won't describe in detail the rest of the other possibilities listed, but there certainly is some food for thought there.
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in a book recently published, titled, "The Gospel of Judas", and the same dvd production by National Geographic, there appears to be found a 2nd/3rd century copy of a manuscript that highlights the existence of the numerous (controversial, unbiblical) texts related to the founding of Christianity of that time, and a hitherto unknown story of Judas, that he willingly took the blame for betraying Christ, as an extension of his duty for God.
http://www.amazon.com/Gospel-Judas-Bart-D-Ehrman/dp/1426200420/ref=pd_bbs_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1207808697&sr=8-2
i think it's nonsense, though.
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finally, in Luke and in John, the bible says that Satan entered Judas. that seems fair enough. Satan wants to kill Jesus to prevent him from saving the Jews, and the world, from eternal condemnation. but Satan doesn't know that Jesus will be resurrected.
"The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness had not understood (overcome) it."
or doesn't Satan know? in Acts 2:24-31, which is written after Jesus' resurrection, Peter writes about David, who was before Jesus' resurrection,
"But God raised him from the dead, freeing him from the agony of death, because it was impossible for death to keep its hold on him. David said about him:
'I saw the Lord always before me.
Because he is at my right hand,
I will not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
my body also will live in hope,
because you will not abandon me to the grave,
nor will you let your Holy One see decay.
You have made known to me the paths of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence.'
Brothers, I can tell you confidently that the patriarch David died and was buried, and his tomb is here to this day. But he was a prophet and knew that God had promised him on oath that he would place one of his descendants on his throne. Seeing what was ahead, he spoke of the resurrection of the Christ, that he was not abandoned to the grave, nor did his body see decay."
so wouldn't Satan have listened to David and have realised that Jesus would be resurrected? would Satan still then have been the one to cause Judas to betray Jesus to be killed? wouldn't all of Satan's work and efforts have come to naught, wouldn't Satan ultimately doom himself by trying to get Christ killed? think about it. i first ran into this line of reasoning in the book, "I, Lucifer", by author Glen Duncan. i honestly don't know why this is not true.
however, the bible is the truth upon which all things stand. so Satan entered Judas, plain and simple. and then he left Judas, and Judas realised that he had betrayed Christ, and then he felt guilty, and hanged himself.
that about wraps it up. if you have anything to add, please do.
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