So I'll do the honours and be the first to get the ball rolling. Privilege eh?

Yall should really check out the link in the shoutbox, Rob Bell's "rain" video, incidentally reminded me of Chris Martin 's(Coldplay) "Fix You", with all that walking.I really love the way it's made, because I've had some of the best conversations just walking and talking to people,like that. It feels as if Rob Bell was walking me to the bus stop telling me a casual story that really impacted his life...very noice that.

Since I've started journalism,I've had many such conversations with people that I meet:not talking about God per se, but talking about something deeper, the things that really concern them, the things on their heart and in their lives.Many of these conversations have blessed me, challenged my faith, and shown me the world through a different perspective.The more I talk to people, the more I realise the less I know: there are so many perspectives on an issue and each have their own justifications, it is almost impossible,I feel, to figure out truth based on intellect/cerebral matter alone.

Travel, be away, talk to someone unfamiliar/different without pre-judgements, and you'll know what I mean.

Rob Bell says in his video, that Jesus came for the sick and not for the well, and God says "cry out to me and I will listen".Im not trying to extol my own virtue, but I think there is an in-built sense of me liking to talk to melancholic, slightly troubled people to find out what's up with their lives,to just be a companion in their loneliness.Of course,effervescent and socially healthy people are equally attractive, but I believe life is much more than what looks like on the surface.

Recently, Ive dealt with a spate of friends confiding in me.I must say it really IS a privelige to be needed, to be trusted as such.I would listen over five hour conversations, talk over coffee, supper, drinks, MSN about breakups, the problem of "the ex", but mostly breakups.It feels like someone has let you in the exclusive abt their lives.

Nooma says in his video that God cannot not help you when you cry out (help in the sense of both the larger and the smaller plan) and I guess Im made part that way as well, it's hard for me to leave someone when I know they are in pain.I believe most problems stem from emptiness which only God's love can answer.

I think for the longest time, Ive invested a lot of emotions in friends, feeling for their problems, spending time being their outlet, trying to be an encouragement.It is quite a thankless job actually.

Finally, that day one of my guy friends came to tell me about his problems and I felt SO fucking frustrated,treated as an outlet and last but not least, TIRED. Very very tired of listening, even angry at myself for investing so much time and energy in these people knowing I won't get much in return.

That moment forced me to take a look :

1) I cant be noble or try to be. Despite the amount of time spent comforting a person,being good companionship, I can't save. I am not the Saviour, Jesus is. I cannot try to fill their distance from God with my friendship, what is emotional release in a friend compared to knowing God who brings Salvation?

2) I cannot solve their problems, only God can.I say it and I say it again, I ain't no Saviour.I am human, I tire, I cannot take another person's burdens upon my shoulders. Whereas God says "Come to me all you weary and burdened for I will give you rest" and it is only He that can give the soul rest.

3) Despite the superficiality of the phrase "seek God in your troubled times"(it's something we all KNOW we shld do), I think it's still the most meaningful advice. Sure I can give advice from my POV, but it is not the answer,only God holds the key, He knows your past present and future.

Anw, so much so for these reflections.Im real sleepy now, going to concuss on my bed.