Jackie Pullinger - Chasing the Dragon

this is a response to question three from 'group discussion'. Well it's not really a response because i had this in mind when i wrote question three. but here goes anyway.

(quoted from the above-mentioned book, first published in 1980, about Jackie Pullinger, an english missionary working in Hongkong from 1965 to date, according to the Society of Stephen website.)

Whatever was going to happen next was obviously meant to be a very emotional experience. My heart began to bump a bit because I was not at all sure what was going to happen next. Then I sat down and they laid their hands on my head saying over and over again in pidgin English, "Now you begin speaking, now you begin speaking, now you begin speaking."

But nothing happened; they thought I was going to burst into "the gift of tongues" and it had not worked.

... The idea of a new language in which you could speak fluently and express all the thoughts of your heart to God was wonderful. But I thought that it was something that you had to be rather advanced and spiritual to get. I shut my mouth firmly. If God was going to give me this gift - then He was going to do it, not me.

"Now you begin speaking, now you begin speaking."

I was acutely embarrassed and began to get cross with them. I felt hotter and hotter and more and more uncomfortable; here I was not speaking in tongues and they were going to be so disappointed that nothing had happened... Eventually I could not stand it any longer, so I opened my mouth to say, "Help me God," and it happened.

As soon as I made the conscious effort to open my mouth I found that I could speak freely in a language I had never learned. It was a beautiful articulate tongue, soft and coherent in that there was a clear speech pattern with modulated rise and fall. I was never in any doubt that I had received the sign that I had asked for.

(some time after)

Then to my horror they suggested we pray together in tongues... I could not get out of it. We prayed and I felt silly saying words I did not understand. I felt hot. And then to my consternation they stopped praying while I felt impelled to continue. I knew already that this gift, although holy, is under our control; I could stop or start at will. I would have done anything not to be praying out loud in a strange language in front of strange Americans, but just as I thought I would die of self-consciousness God said to me, "Are you willing to be a fool for My sake?"

I gave in. " All right, Lord - this doesn't make sense to me, but since You invented it, it must be a good gift, so I'll go ahead in obedience and You teach me how to pray."

After we finished praying Jean said she understood what I had said, God had given her the gift of interpretation. She translated. But it was beautiful; my heart was yearning for the Lord and calling as from the depths of a valley stream to the mountain tops for Him. I loved Him and worshipped Him and longed for Him to use me.

It was a language so much more explicit and glorious than any I could have formulated. I decided that if God helped me to pray like that when I was praying in tongues, then I would never despise this gift again. I accepted that He was helping me to pray perfectly.

Everyday - as I had promised the Willans - I prayed in the language of the Spirit. Fifteen minutes by the clock... I said, "Lord - I don't know how to pray, or whom to pray for. Will You pray through me - and will You lead me to the people who want You." And I would begin my fifteen-minute stint.

After about six weeks I noticed something remarkable. Those I talked to about Christ believed. I could not understand it at first and wondered how my Chinese had so suddenly improved, or if I had stumbled on a splendid new evangelistic technique. But I was saying the same things as before. It was some time before I realized what had changed. This time I was talking about Jesus to people who wanted to hear. I had let God have a hand in my prayers and it produced a different result. Instead of my deciding what I wanted to do for God and asking for His blessing I was asking Him to do His will through me as I prayed in the language He gave me.

Now I found that person after person wanted to receive Jesus. I could not be proud - I could only wonder that God let me be a small part of His work. And so the emotion came. It never came while I prayed, but when I saw the results of these prayers I was literally delighted.

... At my conversion I had accepted that Jesus had died for me; now I began to see what miracles He was doing in the world today.