about Judas

phwww. where do i start...

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okay. a long long time ago, i was mortified and saddened when i realised that Judas had betrayed Jesus for thirty silver pieces. i wondered if i would have done so too, or at what price, or if my sins made me a Judas as well (they do, don't they?). or at least, i have as much responsibility for Christ's betrayal and death as Judas did.

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the next thing i wondered was, why did Judas not get a pardon when everyone else did? that doesn't sound very fair, but hey, grace is given by God. so okay, the old testament speaks about Christ's betrayer, so God says Judas is condemned, then Christ himself says that his betrayer is condemned, hmm, that's kinda tough. and then in that same chapter of Mark, chapter 26, Jesus says that Peter will disown him, which is surely in the same spirit as Judas' betrayal, yet Peter is pardoned, and Jesus himself goes to reinstate him in John 21. so why one and not the other? so there are two unpardonable sins for a Christian, which are: blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, and the actual betrayal of the Christ.

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and then, a few months ago, i was wondering about this again. if Judas, who had been a disciple of Christ, heard his words, listened to the private explanation of his parables, seen his miracles, seen the crowds gather to Jesus, had himself been sent out to preach the kingdom of God, had performed healings and driven out demons, had grown in fellowship with the first disciples of Christ, and had lived this life of discipleship, and had lived for the kingdom of God and his chosen Son for so long that he knew everything about Christ, and had surely been groomed as the other disciples to be church builders and evangelists and missionaries, etc., full of the Spirit, accustomed to hardship and persecution for the joy of the kingdom... what else did i miss... if Judas, even Judas, had failed, had turned away from it all, then who can blame him? if in his heart he remained hardened in spite of all of Christ's glory and grace on display before him, then... then what? if our hearts had seen all these things and were not moved, could you or i have stood in his place and resisted the Pharisees, the teachers of the law, the chief priests, or the devil, when they tempted him to betray Jesus?

what if Judas had seen all this and hated Christianity as a result? what if he simply wanted nothing more to do with this epic struggle between good and evil? what if he felt this way, "God, why me? i don't wanna do all these things. i want to live a quiet life. let me go! give me back my life and my freedom. i'm tired. i'm hungry. i'm old. i've lost my dreams, and my self. let me go, please."

the next thing i thought was, did Jesus make any moves to correct his one errant disciple? hmm. perhaps his hands were 'tied', but i don't think Jesus would have purposely gave up on Judas. if for example, you had one student who was failing, you'd at least try to talk to him to see if he cared about his grades, ask about his family situation, and so on. even if God told you that your student was doomed to fail, you'd certainly try, at least to give him any chance. Jesus must have been sad to let Judas go. i believe that.

so if Jesus couldn't bring Judas to love him, then maybe the other disciples could sense that Judas wasn't in on the program. they might have tried to talk to him. i think it would be fairly obvious in their 'hyper-disciple' state to notice someone who wasn't talking or walking the talk and walk, respectively. did they fail in their fellowship? were they leaving out someone in their group who was spiritually down? did we at present have a situation like that ourselves?

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lately, what i was thinking about Judas, was that Judas made a miscalculation. he took a gamble, and lost. for up to that point, in every encounter that Jesus had had with the authorities, the teachers of the law, the pharisees and the chief priests, Jesus had been able to defend himself with wisdom that no one could refute. Jesus had spoken courageously against the pharisees and the teachers of the law, and had even scathingly criticised them, yet they could neither fault him in return, nor absolve themselves of his accusations. up to that point, everybody knew that Jesus burned with righteous anger against the Jewish and Roman authorities. so if Jesus was the Messiah, then what harm could possibly befall Jesus even if he were to be arrested and charged by these authorities? would not Jesus, as he always did, stand up and defend himself, with words and wisdom from the Spirit that none could refute? would Jesus not tear down the very legitimacy and mandate and power that these authorities had? would God not send his angels to set Jesus free? would Jesus surrender to wicked, scheming men? would God leave his only Son helpless?

if we didn't know better, we'd probably have said, okay, sure, Jesus versus the authorities, bang bang bang, we win. so i (Judas) will go and take these people's money (haha) and set them up to get owned by my rabbi, Jesus. a brilliant plan, a real double cross.

this could be plausible because in Matthew 27:1-4, Judas realises that Jesus does not reply to the accusations levelled at him, or attempt to save himself.

'Early in the morning, all the chief priests and the elders of the people came to the decision to put Jesus to death. They bound him, led him away and handed him over to Pilate, the governor. When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty silver coins to the chief priests and the elders. "I have sinned," he said, "for I have betrayed innocent blood."'

his shocking realisation here is that Jesus had already warned him that all this would happen. Judas realises here that he is the one who would betray Jesus, even if it was a mistake.

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so as i was trying to organise my thoughts, i drew a sort of mind map, because there were a lot of angles to cover.



it started with this line: Judas -> chose to betray Christ -> became guilty, hanged himself

and i simply tacked the rest on.

the top half is the reasons why he may have done so, the bottom left side is the mentality he did it with, and the bottom right side is why he hanged himself. i think that this is important, because if Judas had felt that he was right to betray Christ, then he would not have hanged himself. unless, for instance, he witnessed Jesus' sufferings and felt guilty as a result, or something like that.

i won't describe in detail the rest of the other possibilities listed, but there certainly is some food for thought there.

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in a book recently published, titled, "The Gospel of Judas", and the same dvd production by National Geographic, there appears to be found a 2nd/3rd century copy of a manuscript that highlights the existence of the numerous (controversial, unbiblical) texts related to the founding of Christianity of that time, and a hitherto unknown story of Judas, that he willingly took the blame for betraying Christ, as an extension of his duty for God.

http://www.amazon.com/Gospel-Judas-Bart-D-Ehrman/dp/1426200420/ref=pd_bbs_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1207808697&sr=8-2

http://www.amazon.com/National-Geographic-Gospel-Judas/dp/B000FC2HRC/ref=pd_bbs_sr_3?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1207808697&sr=8-3

i think it's nonsense, though.

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finally, in Luke and in John, the bible says that Satan entered Judas. that seems fair enough. Satan wants to kill Jesus to prevent him from saving the Jews, and the world, from eternal condemnation. but Satan doesn't know that Jesus will be resurrected.

"The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness had not understood (overcome) it."

or doesn't Satan know? in Acts 2:24-31, which is written after Jesus' resurrection, Peter writes about David, who was before Jesus' resurrection,

"But God raised him from the dead, freeing him from the agony of death, because it was impossible for death to keep its hold on him. David said about him:

'I saw the Lord always before me.
Because he is at my right hand,
I will not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
my body also will live in hope,
because you will not abandon me to the grave,
nor will you let your Holy One see decay.
You have made known to me the paths of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence.'

Brothers, I can tell you confidently that the patriarch David died and was buried, and his tomb is here to this day. But he was a prophet and knew that God had promised him on oath that he would place one of his descendants on his throne. Seeing what was ahead, he spoke of the resurrection of the Christ, that he was not abandoned to the grave, nor did his body see decay."

so wouldn't Satan have listened to David and have realised that Jesus would be resurrected? would Satan still then have been the one to cause Judas to betray Jesus to be killed? wouldn't all of Satan's work and efforts have come to naught, wouldn't Satan ultimately doom himself by trying to get Christ killed? think about it. i first ran into this line of reasoning in the book, "I, Lucifer", by author Glen Duncan. i honestly don't know why this is not true.

however, the bible is the truth upon which all things stand. so Satan entered Judas, plain and simple. and then he left Judas, and Judas realised that he had betrayed Christ, and then he felt guilty, and hanged himself.

that about wraps it up. if you have anything to add, please do.

Good Friday Video.

Dear CG,
Here is a link to a fantastic local foodblog (www.ieatishootipost.blogspot.com) that I check out every other day. But that is not the point. Do check out his posting on 21st March 2008 , and watch the Youtube video link.
Just spreading good things in life
Cheers :)

J Low

Easter at CY's 21st March 2008

wish you were here! :)

Luke 5: The Calling of the First Disciples

i was thinking recently, that whatever thing it is that i'm engaged in, i get bored with it quite fast. i guess it's the same with most people, if it's school, studies, work, or anything... anything that you have to do over and over, for the sake of doing. it depends mightily on a person's character, of course, but in general, as the novelty of something wears off, as the reasons for doing it seem less compelling, and as a person's drive and desire for doing something start to dissipate... it gets harder and harder for a wandering mind to convince practised fingers to daily resume a task at hand. and i was thinking hard about this lately.

Luke 5:

One day, as Jesus was standing by the Lake of Gennesaret, with the people crowding around him and listening to the word of God, he saw at the water's edge two boats, left there by the fishermen, who were washing their nets. He got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, and asked him to put out a little from shore. Then he sat down and taught the people from the boat.

When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, "Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch."

Simon answered, "Master, we've worked hard all night and haven't caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets."

When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break. So they signalled their partners in the other boat to come and help them, and they came and filled both boats so full that they began to sink.

When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus' knees and said, "Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!" For he and all his companions were astonished at the catch of fish they had taken, and so were James and John, the sons of Zebedee, Simon's partners.

Then Jesus said to Simon, "Don't be afraid; from now on you will catch men." So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him.

(end of Luke 5)

sometimes, it takes quite a bit of imagination to appreciate the finer itty-bitties of Bible stories. for example, Jesus might be a little curious as to why a handful of fishermen would be self-absorbed enough to ignore the crowd and the presence that he carried, not stopping what they were doing in spite of the unusual scene around them, enough so that he wanted to reach out to them. i imagine that it would be difficult to wash a large fishing net and still be within hearing distance of Jesus, granted as it were that Jesus would later go on to speak to thousands.

so Jesus went to some of them, and asked to be paddled out a small distance, to have a prettier platform to speak from. the poor guys on the boat then had to listen to whatever Jesus was teaching, probably while trimming the boat to counter any oratorical gestures Jesus might have made. they might have been a little embarrassed at the fixed gaze they received from Jesus' audience, or the smell of their boat, or their fishermen's appearance, but it's almost certain that they paid attention to Jesus' words, enough that they had a profound impact on them. this is wisdom, God's Word, and it was sitting next to them in their fishing boat, not all airs like the teachers of the law or the Pharisees. sure makes you think.

next thing you know, they'd become a little spellbound by the teachings of Jesus. repentance, salvation, promises, the Messiah, God's glory, all these grandiose things swelled in their spirits and minds. and then Jesus stopped, as he did, and cut right across the grain, telling the fishermen to go fish. Simon must have been pretty stunned, pretty flabbergasted, but with a marked show of respect, his answer as recorded in the Bible reads decently as, "Master, we've worked hard all night and haven't caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets."

and this is the pivotal moment, when they're given a bounteous catch of fish, but also when they're given the all-important choice (choice being all-important) to follow Jesus. the ending verse summarises their decision a tad lightly, i think. they could take their catch and the small fortune to be made from it, and go back to fishing, praising God for their blessing, living honestly, humbly and happily, or they could recognise that the true blessing came from Jesus, of following him. and they would have to forsake everything, and follow him.

which would be wiser? which would be foolhardy? which would be compulsive? which would fulfil their needs better? which would be a better security, which would be a more responsible path to take in terms of providing for themselves and their family? which would be their life's calling? and were they ready to take such a decision?

i think that we can all faithfully await such a moment in our lives, with some awareness that when the time comes, it's ultimately a personal, spiritually-mature and self-convinced decision in faith. (additional comments are welcome.)

having said all that, back at the start, as i've mentioned, i've been thinking a lot about why i was still doing the things i didn't really want to be doing anymore. it was the same back in school, back in army, and now at work. it seems that now i have a choice, but before long i'll be back in school again, so... is my attitude supposed to change? i don't think it could.

Simon had been fishing all his life, maybe enough that he had all the time in the world to ponder such things, and to get... i dunno, mature enough to choose when the time came. maybe he also got sick of fishing... maybe he always sensed that there were better, higher things in life to devote himself to. maybe it's like Moses spending forty years in the desert. maybe it's a vital, vital, time.

2nd Corinthians 5:1-10:

Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. Now it is God who has made us for this very purpose and has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.

Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. We live by faith, not by sight. We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad.

hello everybody, i was surfing around for info coz i read a verse in the bible (Deut 29:29) which reads: "The secret things belong to the LORD our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the words of this law." (NIV), and there's another verse in the bible (1 Cor 4:1) which reads: "So then, men ought to regard us as servants of Christ and as those entrusted with the secret things of God." (NIV)
so i was like, "huh?" because the two verses confuse me (but then again i havent finished reading Deut 30:1 - 1 Cor 3:23 entirely, which means i might have missed out on something), so i went to look for some clarification

i havent found anything that explains the 1 cor verse yet, but i found this link:

http://www.answersingenesis.org/us/newsletters/0803lead.asp

and within this article is a link to another article which i found very interesting:

http://www.answersingenesis.org/docs2003/0620atheist.asp

which is basically a story abt some pastor in denmark who became an atheist, and how he got suspended, and how his church members complained. related to this story is an article (http://www.answersingenesis.org/creation/v25/i1/editorial.asp) about this guy called charles templeton, who used to serve with billy graham but ended up thinking too much and ended up rejecting christianity.

i recommend exploring the articles and the related links; they're quite interesting and have some apologetics-related stuff, but more importantly, i think that, having read a bit abt this charles templeton guy's history, there is a real danger when we abandon our faith and trust in God and His word, and replace it with a desire to sate our own intellect, which is nowhere near adequate enough to understand all of His ways.

oh and i also think that the denmark example is a strong reminder that sometimes while we're busy praying for the underprivileged and oppressed ppl of the world, there's also another large group of ppl that need to be prayed for as well

Jackie Pullinger - Chasing the Dragon

this is a response to question three from 'group discussion'. Well it's not really a response because i had this in mind when i wrote question three. but here goes anyway.

(quoted from the above-mentioned book, first published in 1980, about Jackie Pullinger, an english missionary working in Hongkong from 1965 to date, according to the Society of Stephen website.)

Whatever was going to happen next was obviously meant to be a very emotional experience. My heart began to bump a bit because I was not at all sure what was going to happen next. Then I sat down and they laid their hands on my head saying over and over again in pidgin English, "Now you begin speaking, now you begin speaking, now you begin speaking."

But nothing happened; they thought I was going to burst into "the gift of tongues" and it had not worked.

... The idea of a new language in which you could speak fluently and express all the thoughts of your heart to God was wonderful. But I thought that it was something that you had to be rather advanced and spiritual to get. I shut my mouth firmly. If God was going to give me this gift - then He was going to do it, not me.

"Now you begin speaking, now you begin speaking."

I was acutely embarrassed and began to get cross with them. I felt hotter and hotter and more and more uncomfortable; here I was not speaking in tongues and they were going to be so disappointed that nothing had happened... Eventually I could not stand it any longer, so I opened my mouth to say, "Help me God," and it happened.

As soon as I made the conscious effort to open my mouth I found that I could speak freely in a language I had never learned. It was a beautiful articulate tongue, soft and coherent in that there was a clear speech pattern with modulated rise and fall. I was never in any doubt that I had received the sign that I had asked for.

(some time after)

Then to my horror they suggested we pray together in tongues... I could not get out of it. We prayed and I felt silly saying words I did not understand. I felt hot. And then to my consternation they stopped praying while I felt impelled to continue. I knew already that this gift, although holy, is under our control; I could stop or start at will. I would have done anything not to be praying out loud in a strange language in front of strange Americans, but just as I thought I would die of self-consciousness God said to me, "Are you willing to be a fool for My sake?"

I gave in. " All right, Lord - this doesn't make sense to me, but since You invented it, it must be a good gift, so I'll go ahead in obedience and You teach me how to pray."

After we finished praying Jean said she understood what I had said, God had given her the gift of interpretation. She translated. But it was beautiful; my heart was yearning for the Lord and calling as from the depths of a valley stream to the mountain tops for Him. I loved Him and worshipped Him and longed for Him to use me.

It was a language so much more explicit and glorious than any I could have formulated. I decided that if God helped me to pray like that when I was praying in tongues, then I would never despise this gift again. I accepted that He was helping me to pray perfectly.

Everyday - as I had promised the Willans - I prayed in the language of the Spirit. Fifteen minutes by the clock... I said, "Lord - I don't know how to pray, or whom to pray for. Will You pray through me - and will You lead me to the people who want You." And I would begin my fifteen-minute stint.

After about six weeks I noticed something remarkable. Those I talked to about Christ believed. I could not understand it at first and wondered how my Chinese had so suddenly improved, or if I had stumbled on a splendid new evangelistic technique. But I was saying the same things as before. It was some time before I realized what had changed. This time I was talking about Jesus to people who wanted to hear. I had let God have a hand in my prayers and it produced a different result. Instead of my deciding what I wanted to do for God and asking for His blessing I was asking Him to do His will through me as I prayed in the language He gave me.

Now I found that person after person wanted to receive Jesus. I could not be proud - I could only wonder that God let me be a small part of His work. And so the emotion came. It never came while I prayed, but when I saw the results of these prayers I was literally delighted.

... At my conversion I had accepted that Jesus had died for me; now I began to see what miracles He was doing in the world today.

huh

Ever had a day where you didn't want to sleep because you didn't want to wake up the next day? What am i waking up for? What does it mean when people say "God used me" or "God has a plan for me".
It's just something that hit me some time ago and its been in the back of my mind ever since. You know, the more i thought about it, the more i found myself unable to pray. I tried to forget about God. He would not let me forget. Where could i run to, that i may hide from His presence? All the books that i have read, all the knowledge that i had; could not prepare me for what i am experiencing.
One of the things that i just cannot get my mind around, is the Grace Of God. Man's sins are forgiven, even those committed in the future. All paid for. But we preach Christ crucified, to Jews a stumbling block and to Gentiles foolishness.Now i understand. God's response to man's increasing sin, is increasing grace? Foolishness. Offensive to my sense of justice. But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise.
Nonetheless, i take heart that the Word calls me blessed. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed. My faith is slippery. It is at odds with itself. But. God always has the last word. Thank God for faith. I believe, and i am blessed. Praise Him.

Hours after i typed this out, after reading it over again, it does sound quite emo. But i choose not to edit it, because it reflects what i felt as i was penning my thoughts. Cheers guys.
-Beh